Our Baby News

The process of toilet training can be a very challenging time for parents and once again there is no user manual to tell you and your child how to do it! In this section parents share their experiences, good and bad. I know of many parents who have found this one of the most difficult times in their household, and in particular when you feel under pressure to get your child toilet trained before going to nursery or pre-school.

It can be a difficult time and it may push your patience to the edge, so please try and remember that all children are different and develop their life skills at various times, they are not all the same.

Teachers and caregivers have their own pressures—so many different children at different stages of development. Here are some ways for them to cope with the demands of caring for many children at once, while also respecting each child’s stage of development:

1. Never discuss the child’s bedwetting with anyone without the child’s permission: “Can you let the doctor know you want to work on this? Or would you like me to?”
2. Never discuss the child’s bedwetting in public. But don’t make it a big secret either. Siblings are bound to know. Within the family, it is best discussed in a matter-of-fact tone, not as big deal.

• Cover his mattress with plastic.
• Be ready for a nighttime accident so that you can make the cleanup easy and uneventful in the morning.
• Let him sleep on a towel he can remove if he wets.
• Give him a change of nightclothes to put on himself if he needs to.
• Leave a plastic hamper with a tight cover in his room where he can put wet sheets, towels, and pajamas.

Watch her face and gestures to understand what she is trying to say, and when she is ready to try the potty again:

• Don’t ever give up hope, or begin to push her.
• Don’t ever punish her for failures.
• Don’t let others interfere with your routine.
• Don’t clean her up or flush her bowel movement away until she’s ready.

1. Don’t start until she’s ready and asks to “be dry at night.”
2. Don’t start too early. If you do, she’ll be discouraged when she fails, and will be reluctant to try again.
3. Wait until she’s been dry during naps.
4. Wait until she’s able to go without using the potty or toilet for prolonged periods (3-4 hours) during the day.
5. Keep her in diapers or heavy pull-ups until you are pretty sure she’ll make it. Even then, go back to them if she fails.

Toilet talk:

Toward the end of the second year, a child will begin to announce—often with excitement and pride, “! peed!” Or “I went poop, mommy.” She may even pull at her wet or dirty diapers as if she wanted to be changed.

Toilet play:
At 2, a child’s fantasy play can help her try out and master questions and fears about her bodily “productions.” She can put her doll or truck on the potty “to go pee like mommy.”

The excitement of walking, and of being independent, is so overwhelming to a child that this certainly is not a time for a parent to expect any interest in sitting still anywhere—especially on a toilet. Yet many parents come in for a checkup and say: “You were absolutely right about the pressure! My parents sent a potty seat in the mail.” Or else: “The daycare center has already asked when I was going to start toilet training.”

At the 1-year-old pediatric visit, Dr.T.Berry Brazelton asks every child’s parents: “Have you thought about toilet training yet?”

Many parents look at him with surprise: “But she’s only a baby. Isn’t it too early to worry about that.”

He agrees: “I’m glad you think so too.” But watch out! After her first birthday you may feel pressure. Your parents or other relatives may have been trained early themselves.

For a few months now, much of your baby’s energy has been consumed by her need to move. Now, as her first birthday approaches, she can get away, and scare herself when she discovers she is “on her own.” Diaper changes are another chance for her to wriggle away to play “catch-me-if-you-can!” She is so busy, so squirmy, that it takes a very determined hand to keep her on her back when it is time to change her diaper.